The Story:
It was the year 2525, man was still alive and woman had survived, but what was left of America was a vastly different place. “God’s Country”, ignoring history and prophecy, slowly regressed into what was once known as Kansas. Armed with their convictions and abnormally large heads, a group of rebels held onto Jersey, a peninsula of sorts in the northeast corridor of the formerly united states. Among these hid a disgruntled musical archivist named Sachin (SUH cheen).

Having collected 575 years of popular music he discovered without a doubt that one could change the world with simple songs about love and sex (c.f. Meet the Beatles). During a three-hour obsession with the fame of Huey Lewis and the News, he also discovered that you could travel back in time in a DeLorian motor vehicle, and a brilliant idea was spawned. Possessing little talent save for his taste in music and a tuneful voice, he decided that if he could collect the greatest songs of the past 500 years and thrust them on a world that still hung in the balance, he might be able to change the course of history.  Also, after reading Mick Jagger’s autobiography, “We All Need Someone We Can Cream On”, he was confused into believing that rock and roll would bring him fame, fortune, and incredible amounts of wanton sex.

Sachin found a DeLorian, bought some plutonium from the corner drug store, packed up his vintage 1998 Rickenbacker and set the controls of his time machine for 2005, which historians had labeled “The End of Consequence”. His quest to redeem history (and get laid) led Sachin to team up with two unlikely types thriving on the west banks of the Hudson...

A young William MacKeigan (a.k.a. Dreamboat Willy) was making a name for himself as a chainsaw juggler who could simultaneously lay down a mean beat on the drums. His taste in music was as broad as his consciousness, but after dismembering a fan, he started tiring of the local scene and yearned for something greater.

Oliver was another story. A strong proponent of women’s rights, he protested the phallocracy with preternaturally strong performances of Billy Holiday tunes. He realized that while this was certainly a noble cause, he needed to serve justice and the greater good in more productive ways. So he started serving a self-imposed solitary confinement in the depths of his basement with his bass guitar, some Motown records, and a very large bag of animal crackers, which he swore to finish as penance before he could leave. He loved the heads of lions most of all.

Sachin played the some of the songs he had brought back in time, easily persuaded Billy to give up the chainsaw gig, while Oliver realized  that he was ready for daylight once more. They would select 12 to 14 songs at a time, record "albums" of these tunes, and perform the songs for millions of devoted followers. All they had to do was wait for these once future hits to become hits again, propelling The Happy Endings into superstardom and saving the world from the coming evil. But first they had to help finish the giraffes…